SAFE SEX

It's all about wearing protection guys and with that in mind, meet the new addition to the expedition party... Meet the hat.

Before setting off on this jaunt across the other side of the world, in my infinite (lack of) wisdom, I decided I should probably try looking my best and therefore opted to get a hair cut. But dear reader, not doing anything by halves, said haircut was to be as close to absolute baldness as is humanly possible with the aid of a hover mower and an edge cutting strimmer tool. Yes I opted for a number one all over. And what's more, I wore it with pride and thought nothing more of it.

Then we met Sydney...

Amidst all the eeeks, ooohs and aaahhhhs of the painful sunburn inflicted earlier by the Newcastle sunshine, around about the time we hit Sydney I could feel a definite burning sensation to the old bonce. And bearing in mind that back in Blighty we only get 3 day long summers, for an Englishman that is a totally new experience to be had. I had to protect my brain for the benefit of Google's G+, my own sanity (debateable) and the whole of mankind who is probably in need of a good laugh around about now.

And being the sprightly nearly half a century old type that I am, OMG it actually suits me while wearing the bugger. Who would have thought? And don't tell anyone, but it's actually good for pulling the birds too...

So, just like that, the travelling party of two became three. Jodie, myself and the hat (the birds come and go as they please). The brain continues to rattle around the 59cm skull but no longer fries in the Australian daylight and all is well with the world once more as we venture out into the big vastness of Australia with renewed vigour in an effort to fill our new travelling partner with feathers, badges, souvenirs and all sorts of other assorted crap.

Yes we might not look much in our own individually isolated glories but put us together and me and the hat are just.... well you be the judge and decide.

SAFEST SEX I EVER CAME ACROSS !!